Botched Sentences

Every day on the Web, I read sentences that force me to edit before I can understand.

First, there is the "one...they" confusion. "One" is singular, but "they" is plural. A Ph.D. takes that confusion even further when he writes, "The level of autonomy and independence that one achieves influences both the range of a person’s ability to adapt to his environment and their level of self-respect." If "one achieves," and one is a person with "his environment," how can we write of "their level of self-respect"?

Another gem: The new head of a research facility is said to "have duel French and English citizenship." I know that England and France are politically at odds theses days, but has it come to "duel citizenship"? I think the writer meant "dual."

I could go on, but I'll conclude with a badly written sentence whose unnecessary noun actions and passive verbs leave it so fuzzy that readers could miss the grammar error. "While occasional references to Islam as being etymologically linked to 'peace' is often made by Muslims, a comprehensive peace education curriculum is generally absent."

Stripped to its bare subject-and-verb structure, that sentence says "...references...is often made by Muslims." To rewrite this sentence, I would use the Doer-Action Rule, well known to my students. "While Muslims occasionally mention that Arabic etymology links the word 'Islam' to 'peace,' their schools generally do not teach peace comprehensively."

A Pronoun Must Match Its Antecedent

What's an antecedent? It's the noun to which the pronoun refers. If I use "they," readers should instantly know which plural noun I mean. If I use "that" as a pronoun, readers should be confident that I refer to a thing, not a person.

Can you find the pronoun-related errors in these sentences?

1. One can say what they wish.
2. Please identify the person that witnessed the accident.
3. The needle is quickly withdrawn and pressure is applied to it for 20 minutes.
4. The physical signs of stress, abuse, and neglect are serious, and it is often felt for years.
5. The client called yesterday, and they want an appointment.
You ask, What if the client is an organization? Well, let's think about that situation. Could an organization phone you? Probably it was a person who phoned, in which case you would want to say "he" or "she" wants an appointment, right?
However, you do raise an interesting related question. Do I want to refer to an organization as "it" or "they"? In British English, at least in the press, writers use "they," as in "Barclays Bank reported that they will..." U.S. writers usually write, "Ford reported that it will..." At least, that pattern has been my impression.